Sunday, 27 December 2009
I made the notes to end the second Autumn term for Jess and Caleb, yesterday - during my i-tunes and Facebook heaven. The next stage, which I always knew was a kidnapping, crystalised for me as the notes turned the white page blue - an idea I am so excited about I can hardly wait to be given the opportunity to write it. It is the next page of the street map, it will make writing everything inbetween easier.
This time last year, I was feverishly trying to get Near Edgware completed - I was writing the scene that matches with the prologue. I stood in the woodland at dusk and walked out the route Jess has to run. The owl, who features strongly, turned up to give me heart failure, and had to be written in to the story.
Dark, clawing brambles shredded my skin. Gasping and shaking, I scrambled to higher ground at the top of the mound dragging shallow breaths into my aching, ice-scorched lungs. Time, like my energy, was running out and I still hadn't delivered the warning.
I’d come back home to enjoy hanging out with my friends. Instead, I’d spent time researching a little-known subculture and walking, make that running, into danger. Before being ripped apart and dying – if I was lucky – I had just about enough time to wonder if he was really worth all this.
I imagined myself in quieter - safer - alternate realities. In my head I agonised over the question but, in my heart I found the answer: the excitement of knowing - and being loved by him. I loved him. He made even this seem like the right place to be. I smiled and, even though he wasn’t there with me, I reached out my hand as if we could really touch.
The pain hadn’t started yet so, unless lacerations forced me to change my mind, I decided I’d stand by my choices. But, I took a deep breath and screamed.